


[we all have] daddy issues

by tvrntechgodhead, Worldsgreatestnerd



Series: umbrella academy but it’s gayer [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: M/M, Riding, cockblocked by a cat, dick piercings, diego is a bottom, lisyen to me diego is a fucking bottom, porn with a lot of plot okay, porn with a wonderfully hand crafted plot, saying the big L word, thighs! thighs! thighs!, this has taken me nearly a month!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-05 20:24:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17925737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvrntechgodhead/pseuds/tvrntechgodhead, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Worldsgreatestnerd/pseuds/Worldsgreatestnerd
Summary: part one in a series by me and zizi about UA in which the truth is not hidden and Diego is allowed to be the dieho he is“Billy, with all due love and respect, we all have daddy issues.”





	[we all have] daddy issues

“— So, of course, I‘m talking to the cops, and I’m like, yeah, he forced me to do all this shit, except I was eleven and I knew better than to say shit in front of the cops. Now, here I am, I feel like the first word I said to you was ‘fuck’? That sounds right. Where was I? Ah, yes, my dad, the fucker taught me everything I know. Well, not... everything,” the brunet said with a roll of his hips, shooting Diego a wink. “But, yeah, he got... fuck, twenty-two? Twenty-one? Twenty-something years, and I told the cops I was being abused and forced to do all of it. Come to think of it, I really was a smart kid. I pulled off my first real crime at the tender age of eleven, never got caught. Never got caught for any of the other ones, either. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah, my dad. So, now you know about him. I’m glad he’s in prison. Anyone who’s seen my dick _and_ met my dad shouldn’t be allowed to live and you’re too pretty to die. Yeah, that’s why I never go by Bill, under any circumstances. That was his name. I am my own person, thank you very much. Normally I might even object to Billy, but, since you like it so much...” His lips twisted into a smirk, and he raised his hand to Diego’s chin.

”Billy, with all due love and respect, we all have daddy issues. Can we _please_ discuss yours when I’m not literally sitting in your lap, nothing but your hands and two very thin layers of fabric keeping me from having sat on your dick ten minutes ago, and, _god_ , **_especially_** when you don’t have the ability to roll your fucking hips?”

”Shit. I’m sorry, baby, I got wrapped up in my own...  _tragic_ backstory. You’ve been so good, so patient, waiting for me... I bet you’ve been ready for this all day,” Billy cooed, propping himself up on his elbows to get closer to the beautiful man straddling his waist. “I left you waiting... how could I ever make it up to you?”

”’m not worried, I‘m sure you’ve already got an idea.”

”You’re right not to worry, but you’re wrong on just one thing,” Billy sat up on just one elbow, his abs flexing but still much less prominent than the other man’s as he hooked a finger around a strap of Diego’s harness, pulling him in but just out of the range in which their lips would’ve touched. “I have _many_ ideas.”

On Billy’s cue they kissed, hot and rough and open-mouthed. Sometimes Diego acted like he could take control. Sometimes Billy even let him think he could.

But the charade was up when Billy laid back, mountain of pillows crushed beneath him, hands dragging down to rest on Diego’s hips. His fingers traced unseen circles over the muscles that flexed unconsciously under his touch, creating ripples in his skin that could almost make Billy come on the spot. _Almost_.

With anyone else, Billy would be wearing headphones. He owned easily upward of twenty pairs, ranging from shitty corner store generic brand earbuds picked up at checkout to those expensive Beats overear ones. Yes, he owned AirPods. No, he didn’t speak broke. Music helped him through almost everything in life. Usually, he’d be blasting bass-heavy, typically rap music through his headphones-du-jour to keep his own mood going, but Diego understood. If anything, the music blaring through Billy’s speaker system spurred him on as well, sighing and moaning in time to the song as Billy captured the beautiful sounds and swallowed them down in sheer bliss.

Keeping up with the rhythm, Billy ran his hands up and down Diego’s thighs, breaking the kiss but refusing to break his touch to wipe away the strand of saliva that kept their mouths connected. “Fuck, baby, you have such good thighs, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he said between heavy breaths. “Even after I’m done marking you up you’ll still be the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Diego always was, always had been, and always would be putty in Billy’s hands, but after praise like that, he was absolute mush. Complete vegetable. Brain dead, soul had left his body, they would have to converse via Klaus from now on.

Billy smirked, aware of his effect. He so loved when Diego was totally out of commission, and at _his_ hands no less. But tonight was not the night for this. He needed his wonderful pillow princess to wake up and... go for a “bike” ride, so to speak.

”Hey,” he said, toying with the waistband of Diego’s boxers. “Hey, you still good to put in work tonight? ‘Cause, if not, you know I can take over, just say the word, baby, and I—”

”Fuck off, you know I never back out.” Diego rolled his hips and lifted himself up ever so slightly, using sheer thigh power that left Billy feeling the familiar rush of blood to his dick. Lately it seemed he only felt it that intensely around Diego.

”Hm, not like you have much to back out of,” Billy rolled his eyes, but he didn’t mean it. He never meant it around Diego. But he did love teasing. “More like backing off of things. But, I guess you don’t like that much, either, considering...” he eyed the wonderful package hidden inside Diego’s boxers. Not as good as his own, apparently, but, and excuse our bluntness here, he’d seen Diego’s dick. It wasn’t a bad dick. It was a pretty good dick, if you asked him. Easily top ten. “You know, I bet you’ve been ready all day, haven’t you? You’re so good to me, I don’t even have to ask.”

Sometimes, sheer force of snark could, in fact, be overruled. In this case, this principle was demonstrated as Billy leaned forward and swiped his tongue across Diego’s lips, the metal rod sticking out of it presenting as an unconventional warmth that clicked against his teeth as he parted his lips to invite the kiss. Sleight of hand, or rather, _mouth_ , was one of Billy’s best tricks. Diego was distracted, all of his attention focused on Billy’s _fucking_ _tongue_. Mostly because he knew what that tongue could do. Billy, of course, took the opportunity to slide Diego’s boxers down, as far as they would go without him having to move his legs. Billy did not want him moving his legs from their current position. This meant he didn’t have much wiggle room, as far as playing with the things covered by boxers went, but there was only one thing he really needed, and it was right where he wanted it.

The song faded out and in came _daddy_ _issues_ by The Neighbourhood, slow and heavy with bass. Billy knew every note. Not on any instrument, mind you, he just had a really good memory of how the song went. If now wasn’t a good time to just rock the fuck out to this song, he didn’t know what was.

He took the wonderful opportunity to roll his hips in time with the song, teeth catching Diego’s lower lip as he reached into the nightstand drawer just beside his bed to pour, like, a lot of lube into his hand. A lot, but only to someone who doesn’t know anything about _proper preparation—_

With a beautiful pop Billy removed the plug Diego had stuffed himself with that day. Billy grinned, toothy and almost predatory. He loved when Diego kept himself ready for him.

Diego, on the other hand, met Billy with a grimace. Yes, he’d prepped, but the lube had long since dried up, and Billy had monologued, which just added more hours to the clock.

Billy saw his pain and aimed to replace it with pleasure. He slicked his fingers and with one hand he cupped and squeezed Diego’s beautiful ass, being sure to voice his compliments. With the other hand he traced a line down Diego’s spine, lubed thumb circling the tight ring of muscle. Someone who didn’t know better might think the sound he made was a sob. Billy, however, _knew_  it was.

He didn’t take very long to prep. Diego was ready, just, dry. Billy almost cringed at the sound of that word in his head. But he ignored that, and instead he dragged Diego’s lower lip between his teeth and slipped his index finger inside, relishing in the arch of Diego’s back when he cursed his finger inside of him. Second finger and the second Hargreeves sibling was making beautiful noises that enhanced the music, not clashing against it. Already rocking his hips, wanting more.

Billy was ready to give him more. Unwilling to risk any form of displacement by shifting his boxers out of the way, he pulled the metal-studded member from his pants, absolutely fucking slathering it in lube so the rings would go right in with ease.

He wanted to go fast. Diego wanted to go fast. Let’s face it, “slow” wasn’t their thing. But teasing? Definitely their thing.

Billy slid himself inside, torturously slow, making sure the both of them could feel every single movement of the rungs on his dick as he entered Diego’s hole. Diego cried out, and god, Billy felt it on his tongue every time he moved even slightly.

”It’s up to you now, baby,” Billy cooed, licking into Diego’s mouth between phrases. “Do your thing. Do _my_ thing.” He winked.

“You suck _ass_ at dirty talk, you know that, right?” Diego said with a roll of his eyes, and then of his hips. Strategic flexes and movements of his thighs had Billy laid back on the bed, feeling the involuntary buck of his own hips as he ran his hands up and down Diego’s sides religiously, gripping his waist like it was God’s own hand.

"Baby, you know  _damn_ well I can suck your ass. Or did you forget? ‘Cause, I could show you later, taste myself inside you...” Billy ran his thumb over Diego’s beautiful lips, swollen from their time between Billy’s own, touch dragging down his slick lower lip.

Diego rocked his hips, purposely staggering across the rungs protruding from Billy’s cock and he moaned. He had the nerve, the _audacity_ , to make such a noise, and so... _loud_. Every sound Diego made was because of him, at this point Diego was basically fucking himself on Billy and his piercings and that just made it all the more hot.

Hot and heavy, loud, slick, and sweaty, and...

”Meow!”

A sweet, little voice greeted the pair as Billy’s cat padded into the room, pausing to clean herself for a moment. She took one look at the two and hopped up on the bed beside them, fluffy form brushing against Billy’s side and tail touching his shoulder as she plopped down beside them.

Billy, absolutey enamored with the cat, switched all of his attention to her.

”Ruuuby wooo, baby waby, my sweetest of girls, my darling dear,” he cooed, his grip on Diego’s hip relaxing as his free hand went to scratch the kitty’s chin. Immediately her purr reverberated, and Billy lost his absolute mind, babbling nonsense as he focused on the ball of fluff.

”Um, hey,” Diego said, still on Billy’s dick.

”Babe, don’t be rude, we’re in the presence of a queen.”

Diego didn’t know what to say, if there was even anything _to_ say when you’re riding your boyfriend and his cat walks in and steals his attention. So he said, again, “Um.”

 

* * *

 

Later on, after Ruby had plopped her large, beautiful self onto the floor and the pair had been able to finish what they started — literally — and now lay in each other’s arms.

”Sorry ‘bout Ruby,” Billy spoke, fingers running through Diego’s hair. “I forgot to close the door, and I just... she’s so fucking good, you know?”

Diego nodded. “I know, babe.”

”Seriously, though, there’s a reason I call you ‘pretty boy’,” Billy said. “God, every time I look at you, I fall in love with you again, you’re fucking beautiful and I love you.”

”You... said you love me,” Diego retreated, shocked.

”Yeah. Yeah, I did, and I meant it.” Billy scooted himself up a bit, making sure he could see into his boyfriend’s eyes. “I love you, Diego Hargreeves.”

Without hesitation, without a waver or shake: “I love you too, Billy Decker.”

**Author's Note:**

> zizi:
>
>> Diego: daddy  
> Billy: you know my dad taught me how to steal and he used to make me steal with him  
> Diego: hey, babe, I’m trying to be sexy


End file.
